Last Monday, I did the tests, and COVID has come to visit after two years. The Minds Tricks had begun.

To be honest, it was pretty apparent by this point. But the journey to that test was eventful, and I thought it would make for an interesting reflection. 

Before I realised it was COVID, my mind was playing tricks on me, and I thought I was started to have onset dementia. Yep, the narratives we create.. 

The story began the previous Wednesday; I decided to give my foot a test and do a hard effort session. For those not in the running world, a strenuous effort is running at max heart rate for a distance or time, followed by resting before going again.

I did 10 x 1 minute with 2 mins of rest. 

It was a good session. I felt odd that day after, but I put it down to the strenuous efforts.

After a good warm-up on Friday and ran my fastest timed mile at 7.14. It all felt fine, but I had a chest thing going on; I put it down to the running.  I did a 40-minute club efforts session and another high heart rate session on Saturday.

At home, I felt tired, and it did not go away even after a few naps. I don’t do colds, as a rule, I push through, using mindfulness and bullying. But it was not working.

 Monday did a test, It lit up in seconds.

So I had COVID, but only when I had permission to stop did I take the time I needed to slow down and be gentle with myself.

It did make me realise that my mindset was in a hole last week and it was a deep hole. I was not in that hole out of choice or because of all the things I was calling myself for not pushing on. It was because I was ill.

I must remember to permit myself to be; the answer is not always to push through. When do you push when perhaps you need to be kind?

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