What is the liking gap? Have you ever been in a conversation with a group of people that went well, But after you start having doubts?

Some people run these conversations like a tape thinking, and I wish they hadn’t said something. Or they are remembering expressions on people’s faces and being convinced that they have offended them in some way.

In this podcast, we are exploring the liking gap. It is the stories and interpretations that we create in the absence of real feedback.

The standard coaching approach to this issue is to remind the client of something very important.

What other people think of me is none of my business.

It is a phrase that gets pushed in personal development. I’ve even used it with clients and been on the receiving end of it.

 It is so true because what other people think of me, is what goes inside other people’s heads. I have absolutely no control over it. So worrying about it is not going to serve, but that doesn’t stop us worrying about it.

So I was fascinated this week to discover some work by Erica Boothby From the University of Pennsylvania.  She and her team did some research on this process. Looking at how we perceive that gap between what we think someone is thinking and our interpretation of it.

It is called the liking gap and there are some simple strategies to reduce how it affects us.


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